My Two-cent Beliefs

Introduction

I recently delved into self-improvement books, initially captivated by the content.

• I envisioned how differently my life could have unfolded if I had read them sooner.
• However, as the initial excitement waned, I realised that these seemingly profound theories were often packaged to appear more significant than they truly were.

The Flawed Promise of Universality

Most self-improvement books offer reflections on the author's experiences, honed into sophisticated theories over years of refinement.

• Similar to an industrialized approach, the author aims to break down complex realities into easily replicable parts through specific, mass-produced wisdom.
• The illusion of universality arises when these theories are embellished with universal truths and historical anecdotes. This makes them difficult them to disprove, creating a sense of inherent value.

One undeniable truth is that humans are creatures of both intelligence and emotion.

• We harbour deep desires that can fuel incredible sacrifices.
• Throughout life, everyone encounters similar fundamental challenges (including basic necessities, human relationships, poor habits and life goals).
• Many reach similar conclusions simply through living and learning from tradition, bypassing self-improvement books entirely.

However, life experiences vary greatly, shaping unique lessons for each individual.

• When these lessons are broadly shared, their effectiveness differs. Some achieve success through them, while others do not.

Additionally, the inspiring stories we encounter often omit the years of hard work that laid the foundation for such achievements.

• It is like assuming the last piece of bread was the most filling, without considering the entire meal.

My Values and Beliefs: Rooted in Chinese Culture

Being raised in a Chinese cultural environment profoundly shaped me. My innocence was nurtured by Chinese beliefs, language and customs. Repetitive values instilled by family members at young age - ethical conduct and modesty - formed the core of my character, helping me navigate the complexities and hardships of life.

• From a young age, I was taught essential virtues (美德) like honesty, kindness, patience, humility, hard work, wisdom and integrity. My grandmother's words resonated deeply:" The easiest way to make money is through theft or fraud, but these methods are ultimately immoral."
• In life's grey areas, I find guidance in the Yin-Yang principle, seeking balance between extremes (中庸之道) and remaining adaptable.
• The Noble Eightfold Path (八正道) further solidifies my moral compass.

Childhood was filled with "wisdom stories", each offering valuable lessons. Many Chinese idioms and proverbs, despite their brevity, hold profound meaning rooted in historical events. Here are a few examples:

• 拔苗助长。
• 愚公移山。
• 掩耳盗铃。
• 一失足成千古恨，再回头已是百年生。
• 只要功夫深，铁杵磨成针。
• 智者千虑，必有一失；愚者千虑，必有一得。
• 路遥知马力，日久见人心。
• 塞翁失马焉知非福。
• 树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不待。
• 己所不欲勿施于人。
• 读书破万卷，下笔如有神。
• 若要人不知，除非己莫为。
• 尽信书不如无书。
• 物极必反。
• 欲速则不达。
• 千里之行，始于足下。
• 上梁不正下梁歪。
• 忠言逆耳利于行，良药苦口利于病。
• 勿与恶小而为之，勿与善小而不为。
• 得饶人处且饶人。
• 良言一句暖三冬，恶语伤人六月寒。
• 来说是非者，必是是非人。
• 为人莫做亏心事，半夜敲门心不惊。
• 斩草不除根，春风吹又生。
• 命里有时终须有，命里无时莫强求。
• 少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。
• 有麝自然香何必当风立。
• 有意栽花花不发，无心插柳柳成荫。
• 学而不思则罔，思而不学则怠。
• 见人之过，得己之过；闻人之过，想己之过。

These proverbs may sometimes seem contraindicatory, like blind men describing an elephant by touching different parts.

• Wisdoms is akin to a jigsaw puzzle: each piece a fragment of truth, but not the complete picture.

As we mature, we integrate these ideas, selectively adopting those that resonate and discarding those that do not.

• While wisdom offers potential shortcuts, true understanding and paradigm shifts often stem from personal experiences or those of loved ones (the natural law of growth in wisdom).
• For instance, the importance of good health is often emphasized, but it's not until we witness the struggles of a loved one's illness that we truly appreciate it.

The Realities of the World: Beyond Simple Theories

The world is rarely a place of perfect fairness.

• Good people can be exploited, prompting questions about who truly deserves our help.
• Socioeconomic disparities exist - some people are born into wealth and privilege, while others face poverty and hardship.

Sometimes, it is who you know, not what you know, that determines your success.

• Children of rich people have access to the best schools, the best teachers and the best opportunities. They are also more likely to have connections to powerful people who can help them get ahead.
• On the other hand, children of poor people have to work harder and be more determined. They have to be careful about the risks they take because they cannot afford to make too many mistakes.

Moreover, the world is filled with stories of individuals overcoming adversity and achieving remarkable success.

• These tales of resilience and determination are often celebrated and shared, inspiring others to pursue their own dreams.
• However, behind every success story lie countless efforts that went unnoticed, struggles that remained unspoken.

Regardless, the values emphasized in Chinese culture - those same values instilled in me during my upbringing - serve as m guiding light in the face of temptation and life's complexities.

• Values are not simply what exists, but what we believe ought to exist

Summary

The world is intricate, defying simple explanations.

• Different perspectives lead to diverse interpretations of the same event.
• Seeking a singular "theory of life" is akin to chasing one's tail – a never-ending and ultimately futile pursuit.

Ultimately, the value of self-improvement books lies in broadening our perspectives and offering glimpses into how past wisdom was built.

• We can then build upon this foundation by forging our own path.